Newly Unearthed Bush National Guard Memo
September 14, 2004, 9:15 a.m. Newly Unearthed Bush National Guard Memo WORLD EXCLUSIVE. MUST CREDIT NRO.
111th Fighter Interceptor Squadron P.O. Box 34567 Houston, Texas 77034
01 August 1972
MEMORANDUM FOR ME
TO: Me (Lt. Colonel Jerry B. Killian) FROM: Me (Lt. Colonel Jerry B. Killian) SUBJECT: Bush, George W. 1st Lt. 3244754FG
1. I am writing this memo to myself so that I, Lt. Colonel Jerry B. Killian (commanding officer of 1st Lt. George W. Bush) will have a record of the secret thoughts of me, Lt. Colonel Jerry B. Killian.
2. I bet my wife thinks I don't know how to type. Ha! Typing is so easy with this new, top secret, experimental National Guard "Computer-writer"! Have to remember to send the guys in the secret National Guard Experimental Equipment Department a thank you note for letting me use this thing. "Superscript"! Geez, what'll these guys think of next?
3. Phone call from Bush. Discussed options of how Bush can get out of coming to drills from now through November. Says he wants to transfer to Alabama "with a banjo on my knee". I told him I didn't see relevancy of "banjo" reference. Bush told me to "lighten up old man". I told him I didn't like his attitude. He advised me not to "have a cow, dude". I told him to "straighten up and fly right — and that's an order!"
4. 1st Lt Bush disobeyed my direct order.
5. Bush's arrogance and what I call his "go-it-alone" attitude spell big trouble for this young man. God forbid he ever gets into any position of power!
6. My friends in the Navy tell me good things about this young swift boat commander, Kenny? Kermy? Something like that. They tell me he's so heroic that some of the other swift boat guys are jealous of him. Hey, at least he's serving in combat — not like that punk Bush!
7. 1st Lt Bush just walked by my office. He looked right at me and scratched his forehead — with his middle finger! Arrogant punk!
8. You know what might be a good idea for a TV show? Two brothers have to raise one of the brother's sons. Could be cute, lots of dating foibles, parenting stuff. Could call it "Two and a Half Fellas" or something like that. Boy, if that was part of a TV network's Fall line-up I'd sure watch it!
9. Love this proportional spacing! Those experimental guys are nuts!
10. That young reporter, Rasher? Ranther? Something like that. He's good.
11. Boy, if he ever got the crap beaten out of him by some nutcase demanding to know Kenneth's frequency or something like that, I'd believe him.
12. 1st Lt Bush just hit a baseball through my window. Doesn't even apologize for breaking the glass! Just stands there yelling "Hey, mister, little help here..."
13. That's it, I'm suspending his flight status! You're grounded, mister!
(signed) JERRY B. KILLIAN Lt. Colonel
— Comedian Dave Konig starred on Broadway in Grease! and won a New York Emmy as the co-host of Subway Q&A. Konig has written a novel, Good Luck, Mr. Gorsky. Konig is also an NRO contributor.